The final element of courtly love, the concept of "love as desire never to be fulfilled", sometimes occurred implicitly in Arabic poetry, but first developed into a doctrine in European literaturein which all four elements of courtly love were present.
It has been proposed that De Amore codifies the social and sexual life of Eleanor's court at Poitiers between and because the author mentions both Eleanor and her daughter Marie by name; but there is no evidence that Marie ever saw her mother again after Eleanor's divorce from Louis VII in There can be only one person who can overwhelm your emotions and desires.
These "lovers" had short trysts in secret, which escalated mentally, but might not physically. John Jay Parry, who edited De Amore, has described it as "one of those capital works which reflect the thought of a great epoch, which explains the secret of a civilization.
In fact, Andreas thinks that courtly love is not worth the cost.
New York: Lang, It has also been suggested that the prevalence of arranged marriages required other outlets for the expression of more personal occurrences of romantic love, and thus it was not in reaction to the prudery or patriarchy of the Church but to the nuptial customs of the era that courtly love arose.
The basic conception of Capellanus is that courtly love ennobles both the lover and the beloved, provided that certain codes of behaviour are respected. Men had mistresses because those were the people with whom they experienced the passion and the ecstasy of love.
Every lover turns pale in the presence of his beloved.